Teacher’s Wishes | Take Your Time to Grow Up

"We worked hard to learn how to sprint one hundred meters successfully. But no one has taught us how to fall down with dignity, how to clean and dress the wound when your knees are bleeding, how to treat the pain in your heart, and how to get deep peace in your mind, how to deal with it when your heart is broken like glass."

Lung Yingtai pointed out sharply the present situation of our education in China. Everyone says there are lots of failures in China’s education and one of the biggest problems is the imperfection of the education system, which causes many teachers and parents take children as a product that can be packaged. Teachers and parents always use utilitarian methods to make up for the biggest flaw of children. They spend too much time giving children the best things. They like to design the future for children, but ignore the children’s own nature.

Many parents think that education can make people stand out. They strongly tend to impose on children things they have not accomplished. As a result, children are under tremendous pressure which may cause various degrees of psychological problems. Since I took over the job of class supervisor, I deeply realized that children are the mirror of their parents. Family environment is vital to children’s growth. We can see the relationship between family members from the children.   Many parents see the problem from their children but never realize that it’s just the problem of parents reflected by their children. It is considered as a waste of time if children want to have a chat with their parents and if things go on like this, children's hearts will be locked and tightened until their relationship with parents is at stake. Surely the rebellion of puberty should also be taken into consideration.

I remember my literature teacher in college has talked about his childhood on the grassland of Xinjiang, running wildly and playing mud. The free education mode of his parents has created his exquisite and rich emotion and passionate words. The term "cultural feedback" has been put forward for many years. If teachers and parents learn self-reflection, children will benefit from it. It is better to change yourself and set an good example to children than to change them. Love your children and listen to what they really want, respect every choice of children, give them full freedom, and don't limit your children by too many rules. Because children have to learn and experience everything by themselves on their way to growth.

Parents must accompany their children to grow. Worry or anxiety can not solve any problem. Giving each child full freedom and time to bloom and let them grow in the way they agree with to adapt to the changing world of the future.

Love each child as your own. Mistakes are the medals of children's growth. We can not deny children's shining points because of their mistakes, or deny all the efforts that children has made  because of one single mistake. I can see the commonness of some good parents from their children:  they are friendly and peacefully to others, set a positive example for children and have a good habit of living and study. Teach children to stick to their habits and make it perfect, take everything seriously and enjoy the process of doing things, instead of achieving a sense of accomplishment with quick success and instant benefit.

I like this sentence "Children, take your time to grow up", it’s soft and quiet, but give people strength. In an era of advocating speed, we need time to teach children to focus on one thing and make it perfect. Parents don’t have to worry or arrange everything for children. All you have to do is waiting, wait for your children to grow up at their own pace.

The road of spiritual practice is always lonely, for wisdom comes from solitude. The growth of children is absolutely an ascetic journey on the road.